I’m going to say this once and then I promise to resist the urge to say it again however persistent the thought may be.
Writing for the blog scares me. Especially when I consider that someone might actually read it. I don’t know how to write (I take pictures!) and without any previous experience to indicate that I am good at it, it makes me a tad uncomfortable.
I don’t say that so you’ll encourage or reassure me, I simply say it because it’s the truth and I, more than anything, want to be real, open-hearted and vulnerable.
That said, I’ll move on to what you really want to know. Or at least what my mom really wanted to know, and asked with anxious enthusiasm at her first opportunity: “Is it everything you thought it would be?” I understand why she would ask. Adrian and I talked about, planned and anticipated this life for months and now here we are, finally living it.
Is it everything I thought it would be?
Well, that’s a difficult question to answer with a simple yes or no.
It’s much like reading a good book painted with colorful details that construct a deeply rich and imaginative world in your mind and then going to see the movie and having your whole creation replaced by the Hollywood interpretation.
I have stepped on a movie scene and I couldn’t begin to tell you what I ‘thought it would be like’ now that my imagined world has been replaced with the real life vibrance and beauty of these foreign lands.
But that doesn’t matter because I’m pretty sure what she really wanted to know (what all moms really want to know) is “are you happy?” and that is much easier to answer.
Travel like this isn’t new to Adrian. And by this I mean no set plan and no specific end date. But for me, it’s a whole new world.
I’ve been places. Beautiful places, exciting places, far off places but for a week, or two, and you no more than get there and settle in before it’s time to pack it up and go back home. This, of course, is great and by definition a ‘vacation’ that gives us what we so often need, a respite from the routine and responsibility, a chance to get away from it all and recharge.
I’ve had many vacations and I’ve loved them, but this … well, this is very different.
It took at least 4 weeks to settle into the fact that there is nothing I HAVE to do and for the underlying anxiety that was so much a part of me to dissipate. We may be in Bangkok, where there are a million and one things to see, but we don’t HAVE to see any of them. We’ve planned to share our stories on this website but we don’t HAVE to do that either. Really, we have to eat, sleep and be out of the country before our visas expire, that’s about it.
So … now what?
I’m happy to say that I have no answer, no definitive one anyway but I enjoy asking the question. Now what? I like being able to ask it again and again, to explore the various possibilities that arise and to choose a direction that calls to us, whatever or wherever that may be.
- What is calling us? Right now, it’s dinner. Beyond that, I don’t know. But, I promise we’ll keep you posted.